Riding a Wave

Grief comes in waves. Today I'm experiencing one of those waves.

At times I try to just hang on till I make it through, hoping and waiting for it to end so I can get on with my day. Today I'm trying to let go, let myself fully experience the intensity of it all. I realize I can't grow if I don't let myself process it all, even though it means walking"through the valley of the shadow of death". The deep ache, the fears, the pain, the anger, the tears, the longing for our child; as much as I hate to face all of that, they're all a part of the process.

This week would've marked 5 months. We would have been excitedly anticipating finding out whether we would be welcoming our baby boy or girl into this world.

But I will ride this wave because I have hope.