the crazies were coming out in droves

Yesterday I came home from work and could not stop laughing about how crazy of a day it was. I mean, seriously, all the crazies were coming to the dentist at my office! (Wasn't there a full moon recently?) I'll just list them for you:

1. First patient of the day: very nice lady, hates the dentist so was IV sedated for her dental work. Not crazy at all, accept for the time she bit my boss (the dentist) so hard on his finger that he had to pry her mouth open (see the aformentioned IV sedation) and he was bleeding. No worries of disease, the skin was torn, but not the latex glove.

2. Second patient.

3. Third patient: 20 year old male who thought he was too cool and too smart for the world. The best thing that came out of his mouth: "I'm pretty much apathetic about this whole situation"

4. Fourth patient: Basically friendly, vary particular. After his treatment had ended, he stated his satisfaction by loudly proclaiming, "That was so effing fast, I can't believe how effing fast that was!"

5. First patient after lunch: While patient was in the chair, she told the assistant that she kept bumping into her chest. And to emphasize how it was easy to do, she lifted up her shirt to show all of her stuff to the assistant. Assistant's response later "Those things were bigger than my head."

6. Second to last patient of the day: After fracturing her crown and remaining tooth off at the gumline, she insisted the tooth be cemented back in place. (if she were to chew on cool whip, chances are it would break off again.) When told what treatment she would need, she exclaimed loudly, "Hell no, I aint' doin' that, you can forget about it! (Repeat 2x)"

7. Last patient of the day: Needed cavities filled. Dentist gave her anesthesia to numb the tooth. While we waited for the tooth to get numb (nobody wants a big cavity drilled on if it's not numb) we watched some television in the operatory. The patient exhibited her impatience and lack of concern for her own pain by stating to the dentist, "Am I going to have to turn the t.v. off to get you to pay attention to me?"

8. A paitent seen by a hygienist, whom I've seen before myself: When doing a cancer screening on head and neck of patient, he stated to her, "There it is, do you feel it? That's where I shot myself in the head." Apparently, this man (in his 60's) shot and killed his girlfriend and shot and wounded the man who was object of the girlfriend's cheating (in the crotch...9 times). This patient then attempted to kill himself, but failed. The hygienist asked what happened (when wondering why this man was sitting in her chair and not jail) and he said the man didn't press charges.

I know I'm forgetting something, but I think that pretty much sums up how hilarious of a day it was.